perseverance

My uncle’s family arrived from New Zealand a week ago. Today they will be having a little gathering with siblings and my grandmother on another uncle’s farm. I find myself unable to take part in the occasion on account of forthcoming final exams, the first of which will be given on Monday.

My maternal grandmother has controlled hypertension. However, it is in times of family gatherings that we expect her blood pressure to rise. In preparation for holidays and long weekends in which she expects her children to arrive she works up a storm cleaning, going to the market and cooking. It is a big production. Even her garden has to be perfect.

Her children and their kids usually stay overnight. Long meals are taken which roll into the next meal. There are numerous discussions with her children and one-on-one sessions with each of her grandchildren. When the last of her sons or daughter leaves from home at the end of the weekend and the silence once again prevails she will meekly take her medications, go to her room and lie down feeling dizzy.

One time late in the evening, she asked me to check on her every now and then because in all the excitement her systolic blood pressure had risen to 180. I was only a freshman in medicine then and was at a loss for what to do. I checked on her maybe once or twice until she fell asleep but did really nothing more than to see if she was awake and if she was still breathing (!). It is in times like this that I question my competence as a [would-be] doctor. If I am unable to take care of my own grandmother, how am I supposed to care for a patient with a previous medical history I am unfamiliar with? How am I to go about establishing rapport that will lead to a good doctor-patient relationship when I am unable to ask my own grandmother how she is doing?

This was two years ago. I have attended lectures and taken part in small group discussions that have enlightened me on the management of hypertension. I have seen a few patients in the ward with similar conditions and discussed treatment plans with the attending internist. Even with all these I understand I have a long, long way to go. I have this great desire to be a very good doctor. I will not allow whatever weariness or disillusionment I may sometimes come across to be a hindrance to the attainment of my goal. I may have a tendency to be complacent but I am still willing to work hard. I will not leave my education to chance and allow it to take me wherever it wills.

It is a little past noon on a weekend. I have been studying since early morning.